World Breastfeeding Week 2023: The End of an Era
I cried the day I threw away all of my old breast pump parts.
I had weaned my youngest a month and a half before, and all of the old parts were collecting dust next to my drying rack. I was decluttering my small kitchen but had put off getting rid of those well-used pieces. It had been several weeks since I last nursed my baby - who was now two years old - and several months since I had even used my manual pump.
I didn’t want to say goodbye; to the pump parts or to nursing or to the baby stage of raising kids. I had hated pumping, so why was I so hesitant to rid my home of the device? I think because that meant that it was really over. I was done nursing my babies… forever. So, I took a page out of Marie Kondo’s book and held the parts in my hand, and I thanked them.
“Thank you for helping me feed my baby.”
I couldn’t nurse my firstborn. I wanted to, but I didn’t own a breast pump and had no clue how to navigate her milk and soy protein allergy. I grieved and mourned for so long. She thrived on her special hypoallergenic formula. We bonded anyways with skin to skin time and snuggles and eye contact as I fed her bottles.
I nursed my second born for 19 months, until I found out I was pregnant with my third. It was such a special time for both of us. I have so many beautiful pictures of me nursing her. I was so sad when I had to stop but she never cried for it once we were done.
And my third. Everything was against us from the start, it seemed. Despite a traumatic emergency c-section and a NICU stay, I was able to nurse her almost right away. She also developed the milk and soy protein allergy, but I was able to push through and change my diet so I could keep breastfeeding. We had to combo feed formula and breastmilk for several weeks but it all worked out. She outgrew her allergy when she was about one. I kept thinking she would self-wean, but her first birthday passed… and then her second. I kept nursing her until my body couldn’t take it anymore.
As I stood there in the kitchen, trash bag in hand, I knew it was time. I didn’t need to hold onto these parts anymore. I allowed myself to cry - okay, sob - as I said goodbye.
This World Breastfeeding Week is the first one that I am not pregnant or nursing in 6 years. I am using this week to look back fondly on my journeys of feeding my sweet babies. It’s bittersweet. Part of me is so happy to have moved on from that time in my life, while another part misses it so much. There’s really nothing like holding your baby while they fill their little tummy and fall fast asleep.
Did you breastfeed your babies? What was your journey like? Let me know in the comments!
