Lovely and Brave

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An Unexpected Miracle

This is Addie. At the time I am writing this post, she is 17 months old.

Addie came to us at the perfect time. It wasn’t my timing, but God’s. You see, I had been off of birth control pills for about eight months when I finally got pregnant with her. I had wanted another baby since my first baby was… still a baby. We decided to wait until she was a little older to start trying for another baby, and I hoped it would happen as soon as we started.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) when I got pregnant. Hypothyroidism, when untreated, can cause infertility. I gained 12 pounds in a very short amount of time and I was hit with fatigue like I had never experienced before. Once I found out I was pregnant, it all made sense, or so I thought. I didn’t understand how I could have gained weight and felt fatigue BEFORE I was even pregnant. I was so excited to finally be pregnant with baby number two, I told E V E R Y O N E right away.

I didn’t know it at the time, but hypothyroidism, when untreated, can cause miscarriage.

Yet, I was already into my second trimester when I really started to believe that something was off. I was tired all of the time. I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, even for a pregnant person. I was very sad and moody.

I put off telling my concerns to my doctor. Finally, at the end of an appointment, she asked me if I had any questions or concerns. I almost said no, but then I suddenly told her. Right away, she ordered some tests, and within a few days I learned that I had an underactive thyroid. I learned at my next appointment that if my hypothyroidism went untreated during my pregnancy, it could pose some serious risks to me and my baby.

All this time, God had His hand on my baby. He protected her while she was in my womb as I struggled with this disorder that, honestly, I thought was just pregnancy hormones. I was afraid to bring it up to my doctor because I didn’t want to be told that it was just me being pregnant and paranoid.

Deep down, I knew something was wrong. I thank God for giving me the confidence to voice my concerns that day. I thank Him for giving me a healthy baby, despite the obstacle put in our way.

I am still struggling with hypothyroidism. My levels bounced up down for almost a whole year after Addie was born. Still, I was able to keep breastfeeding through the hormonal highs and lows. My TSH levels are finally leveled out and I’m on a regimen of levothyroxine that’s working. I’m still tired, and the fatigue hits hard after long days, but I don’t let it get me down.

Addie is healthy, happy, and brilliant. She adores her big sister and tries to go to preschool with her every day. She is the piece of our family that was missing. When I look back on what I went through, I can’t help but think that the odds of me getting pregnant, and then staying pregnant, were slim. It is a miracle that Addie is with us today.