I dreaded the day my daughter would learn about this Christmas time visitor.

You know the one. The one that comes with a book that basically says, “Your parents get to have extra work to do every day during the month of December,” or something like that.

This one:

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The time came, and my daughter was gifted the girl version of this elf last year. Our elf didn’t go away after Christmas, she found her home in our toy box. We didn’t even read the book last year.

This year, our elf (who still doesn’t have a name - that’s two rules we’re breaking) is actually on the shelf! But… she hasn’t moved. My four year old hasn’t noticed, and I don’t think she even cares.

The concept of this elf goes against having a simple Christmas, at least in my eyes. Some parents thrive at Christmas time, and the elf is something they love to do. I wish the thought of this whole tradition didn’t make my eyes droop from exhaustion and my heart beat too fast. I wish I was one of those fun parents. I wish it didn’t take a lot of self pep talks just to decorate my home for Christmas.

That probably sounds really sad. It is. The truth is, I have a really hard time once it starts getting dark at 5pm. I have a hard time shaking off the sad feelings the darkness brings, let alone getting excited for Christmas. I am learning how to cope, and I am actually making progress. Christmas spirit still does not come naturally to me, but I am finding that it’s okay. I still LOVE Christmas, it’s just harder for me to get started.

I made the decision that I will make Christmas special for my family, for my daughters. And for myself. But I will do this in my own way, and it may or may not involve a vintage-looking elf. It will include hot cocoa, baking cookies, watching so many Christmas movies, and driving around looking at Christmas lights.

I love Christmas traditions and activities. See? I also love to keep things simple and meaningful. As a parent I think it’s okay to be picky about the traditions I allow into my home. One of my favorite quotes is from The Minimalist Mom, “Reminder: we don’t have to continue holiday traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and tired.”

Our elf might come alive the closer we get to Christmas. Maybe she will be naughty and get into the marshmallows, or have a tea party with the Barbie dolls. It will be fun - because that is what a tradition should be - and I won’t let it weigh on me.