How to Speak Life to Your Children in Troubled Times
In the last week our family - and much of the world - has experienced a sudden shift. My daughter’s school will be shut down for the next 4 weeks. All of our usually hang-outs (the library, the zoo, and many more places) are closed. This pandemic of COVID-19 is impacting every single aspect of our lives, and probably yours too.
In this space, you will find my honesty and vulnerability. On that note, I am scared. I was even more afraid last week, though I tried not to show it. As I wrote out my usual biweekly grocery list, I heard reports of shortages in stores because people were panic-buying and hoarding items such as toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes, canned goods, and many more staples. Although I tried to hide my feelings, my children picked up on my anxiety.
They’re little. 4 years old and 1 year old. They don’t know what’s happening in our world, just that suddenly we’re home all day long. At first, I just told my preschooler she was now on Spring Break. It was only half the truth at the time. I struggled with how much to tell her. She was confused when I started doing short “home school” lessons with her. For my toddler, each day home is just another day in the life, so we’re not deviating too far from her routines. Still, there is a noticeable difference in our home, and I know they can feel it.
So, what do we tell our children? How do guide them through what’s going on in the world without causing them unnecessary fear and worry? As parents, it is our responsibility to speak light to our children in dark times. Here are some ideas on how to do that:
Tell the Truth.
What this truth looks like will probably vary depending on their age. When I started to really push my family to wash hands more often and my 4-year-old asked why, I told her that there is a sickness going around and we need to make sure to wash our hands even more to protect ourselves from getting sick. My niece, who is almost 6, heard the word “coronavirus,” and asked her mom (my sister) what it was. My sister explained it to her in a way she could understand.
Pray with Your Children
When your kids are afraid, worried, or sad, the best thing you can do is pray with them. Pray for peace, health, and protection. Thank God daily for His provision. Encourage your kids to go to Him in prayer when they feel afraid.
Speak Words of Affirmation
I have been repeating a couple phrases to my family such as, “We have everything we need,” “We are healthy,” and “We are safe.” Another one I whisper to myself is, “Everything is going to be okay.”
Turn Off The News
Seriously. You might think they are not paying attention because it’s boring, but they are picking up on it. Even if they don’t understand, they will pick up on the tone and the anxiety the bad reports might cause you.
Don’t Burden Your Children
… with your fears and worries, your own responsibilities, or blame. This is a difficult time for EVERYONE, including children of all ages - yes, even teenagers! Let kids be kids, especially during hard times. Let them play and enjoy their time at home, even though it is hard to be cooped up all day. Take walks when you can, go for a drive, and enjoy the time together.
Praise & Worship
Praise & worship drives out fear. Blast those worship songs in your home, raise your hands, and sing along! Encourage your kids to do the same. Dance with them, sing with them, and praise God with them! It will put joy into your hearts and your home.
Speaking in honesty again - I still need my own mom in this scary time. She only lives 10 minutes away and I can call her when I need her. Be the mom that you need to your children. Be their rock in these uncertain times. Teach them how to get through this. We may not be able to shield them entirely from what’s going on the world, and that’s okay. What we can do is help them feel a little less afraid each day.
